‘Sammy Sosa Is Looking Good,’ Says Not-Sammy-Sosa’s-Publicist via Pinterest

Originally published for The Heckler, a Chicago-based sports satire site with 40,000 followers.

Former Cubs outfielder Sammy Sosa recently found himself in the news again as he, and not his publicist, created a Pinterest account to display a series of photos showing the one-time MVP awkwardly posing in his house wearing a combination of suits and tight sweaters, while sporting heavily-gelled hair.

Sosa, who in no way hired someone to take awkwardly staged photos of him pointing at the camera next to posters of himself to post online, released a statement with each picture to let his fans know that, “Sammy Sosa. Yes, I’m the real Sammy Sosa, and this is my Pinterest” to help clarify that Sammy Sosa, yes, the real Sammy Sosa, was responsible for the clearly professionally shot photographs, and not a publicist or someone else trying to make him appear relevant after being out of the public eye for years.

Sosa made sure to bring all of his personality to his Pinterest by in no way letting his publicist position him in front of a camera while telling the former slugger, “Don’t worry Sammy, you look great, America’s gonna fall in love with you all over again when this goes up.”

When reached for comment about the photos, Sammy Sosa told the media he would defer all questions to his publicist, who in no way had anything to do with his personal decision to enter the world of social media.

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